Customer: Yes, thank you. Could I have a double portion of humble pie, please?
Waiter: Certainly. Excellent choice, excellent choice madam.
The topic today is humble pie. I have to say, it is my least favourite kind of pie, but probably the best one for me. Give me a slice of pecan pie, cherry pie or even a savoury chicken pie any day of the week. But not humble pie! It's bad for the pride. But very good for the heart.
The reason I am eating a large portion of humble pie today is that, for a host of reasons, Nige and I have jointly agreed to postpone our LEJOG adventure. We both received a call from Dave Richards, one of Nige's dearest friends and an incredible cyclist who won race after race in his day. He expressed a number of concerns to us, and I at least fell to earth with a bump. Luckily, only my ego is bruised.
Here is the uncomfortable reality:
1. May 24th is a very short time away indeed (a good thing! Long days, balmy nights, shine of the sun). With the weather as it currently is:
we are not able to train.
2. If the weather miraculously cleared up in the next day or two, we would need to begin cycling 30 miles twice a week and 60 miles once a week. To date, I haven't even cycled more than 30 miles in one session. It would be a harsh adjustment, but a necessary one, and I'm not sure I want to punish myself for the sake of proving that I can do it.
3. Needless to point out, I am extremely inexperienced - as a cyclist! There are of course a great many areas in which I have a wealth of experience to draw upon. Such as drinking tea, for example. Or eating cake. Or sleeping. None of which will really help me when I'm faced with a 70 mile bike ride in the pouring rain, other than that they may provide some much-needed motivation.
4. Nige, too, is fairly inexperienced; even though he has done much longer bike rides, he has not ever done a tour on this scale before. He has a wealth of experience with training for bodybuilding, and is one of the most determined and focussed people I know. He could probably grit his teeth and get on with it. However...
5. Neither of us has an appropriate bike for LEJOG. We're both on mountain bikes. Does anyone want to buy a couple of Condor bikes for us?! I think we're both aware that we'd better get saving.
6. The lack of experience is not simply to do with the distance we're covering. It's to do with posture, positioning on the bike, hill climbing, pace, riding in the slipstream of the person in front of you, being at the front so that your partner can slipstream behind you, dealing with headwinds (shudder), mental strength.
7. May is not the best time to ride E2E (end to end). I distinctly remember one family holiday in Cornwall throughout which it poured consistently for a week. May? May is even rainier.
8. Funds are low. For both of us. And sadly, with prices as they are, it would probably be cheaper for us to fly to Greece and have a 10 day holiday than it would be for us to cycle from one end of Britain to the other.
9. We were planning to do the ride in 15 days, give or take (probably give). I wouldn't be able to take much more time than that off work, plus we'd need to get to Lands End and return from John O'Groats, both of which would take the best part of a day. Looking at the distance, that would have meant doing at least 70 miles a day, every day, for 2-3 weeks. It's too much, too soon.
10. It's fairly likely one or both of us would get ill from battering our bodies to such an extent. I for one could not really afford to get ill, as it would mean unpaid time off work.
To go from zero to hero in one fell swoop was an unrealistic expectation. Back in October, when we first discussed doing it, May seemed like an age away. Time was on our side, deceiving us with her promise of days, weeks and months to train in. Now, she has once again woven her magic web of deceit over us, and suddenly we're halfway through January, and May is in truth extremely soon. The crux of it is, we are just not ready. A best case scenario would be that we'd have fantastic weather, get on brilliantly, pace ourselves beautifully, have a few really hard days, but would eventually pull into John O'Groats with triumphant air punches and whoops of joy. We could, however, also have such a horrendous time that we (translation of we = probably Elloa) bunk back to Sussex before reaching Bristol. It could ruin our relationship. It could put me off cycling forever.
Dave used the words "tall order" to describe what we were attempting to do. It's just too soon. So we're postponing our trip, until summer 2011, and the meantime are going to do a four day tour from Canterbury to Portsmouth, and will also ride off-road: the South Downs Link, which is 100 miles. In a way, that's almost scarier for me, because even though I own a mountain bike, the only mountains I've climbed have been neatened with tarmac.
As the humble pie goes down into my belly, I am left with a sense of disappointment, some mild embarrassment, and also, bizarrely, some relief. Perhaps I knew on some level that this really was a tall order, and that it would be a gruelling and painful experience, one to be endured rather than enjoyed. Perhaps it would have all been okay. But do you know what? We're still doing it for Jim. We'll cycle through the southern part of this beautiful land, honouring his name, and this time next year, I'll be able to say that I truly am ready to attempt one of the hardest rides people try to do. So many attempt LEJOG and do not make it, and others seem to do it fairly effortlessly. But for these two cyclists at least, the time has come to admit that end to end is simply too much, for now but not for ever. I promise myself one thing: that I will do it.
Thank you for sharing in this very unpredictable journey. May it continue to twist and turn, and may the snow clear so that I can get back on my bike!
Until next time... ttfn, as Tigger would say.
